I see I've caught your eye. You've been looking this way all night and I can't say I blame you. Was it the snuggy? They don't normally come in tiger fur, you know. It was a special order. Here, feel. Mmm. That's right...
Hey babe, why don't you pull up a chair? No, not that one. That's where I keep my stacks of twenty dollar bills. You know, in case something spills. Here, take this one instead.
Oh, do you like my tattoo? I got it commemorate my the night I saw my first Nickleback concert. Cost me a pretty penny!
Why don't you pour yourself a drink? No, go ahead it's on me! Money's no concern to me, so... plenty of orange fanta where that came from. You know, I-
Jesus christ! You spilled it right on my snuggy! Dammit! It's gonna stain!
Well, Don't just stand there like a lump! Grab some twenties and try and blot it up.
(female, white, cis, non-neurotypical, trying to be an intersectional feminist, sub-par humility, above-par sex appeal)